Things You Hear in Middle School - Part Two
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Here, presented with little to no context, are four conversations between me and my students since the beginning of the school year:
While doing an activity in which students have to use the letters of their first name to describe themselves, a kid name Crafton approaches my desk…
Crafton: “Mr. Bartlett, can A be for Arson?”
Me: “No, Crafton, that’s not okay.”
Crafton (disappointed): “Alright.”
Comes back two minutes later
Crafton: “Mr. Bartlett, can C be Could have committed arson?”
Me: “No, Crafton! No arson at all.” You’re freakin’ me out.”
Carter (very disappointed): “Aaaw, alright”Jill: “Mr. Bartlett, can I have the fire extinguisher.”
Me: “Why do you want the fire extinguisher?”
Jill: “ To decorate my room with!”
Me: “Okay, first, fire extinguishers are for putting out fires, not for decoration. Second, why on earth would you want to use a fire extinguisher as “decoration”?
Jill: “For a new style I’m inventing. I call it ‘danger chic!”
The quiet of the room is broken by a child suddenly yelling: “Diabetes for sale! Diabetes for sale!”
Me: “Hank, what are you doing?”
Hank: <holds up bags of Craisins in both hands>: Mr. Bartlett, these Craisins have so much sugar in them. It’s wild. <addresses whole class again> Diabetes for sale! Diabetes for sale!”
Me: “Hank, stop trying to sell people diabetes!”
Me: Class, the internet is down. We do not have internet right now.
Crafton: Oh, that’s just great. Now we’re all gonna’ get dysentery.
That’s all for now. There is a whole lot more stuff where that came from and I need to remember to write it down more often.